Trivial Beatles

beatlesI just left my neighbor’s house.  I asked him if he could answer a question for me.  He said he couldn’t talk to me because he was on the phone with Oslo. I am not sure who Oslo is, but he sounds like he might be a foreigner.

I was listening to the Beatles this morning, and realized just how interesting their music really is.  Take the song “I Am the Walrus.”  The lyrics are fascinating.  Here is what I think John Lennon was trying to say, “between the lines” as it were.

I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.  Clearly he is speaking of his early years.  Not many people know this, but John was actually one of three triplets.  They were identical in every way except appearance.  When they were three years old, the other two moved to the United  States and later became famous on their own.  That’s right, I am talking about the Smothers Brothers. Or he could be referencing the show “My Three Sons.”

See how they run like pigs from a gun see how they fly.  He is obviously referencing the annual Madagascar flying pig hunts.

I’m crying.  In this line he is attempting to convey a sadness of some sort, possibly from betting on the wrong horse or eating some bad clams.

Sitting on a corn flake, waiting for the van to come.  When he was growing up, John would often take the bus to school.  In England buses are called vans.  (They don’t call anything by its real name over there.  And they think they are so smart.)  He was well-known to eat corn flakes, sometimes hiding them from people who wanted to steal them.  Corn flakes were hard to come by in 1940’s Liverpool.  So he is hiding the corn flake from a would-be thief, waiting for the school bus.

Corporation tee shirt stupid bloody Tuesday man you been a naughty boy you let your face grow long.  John’s Uncle Fred was a maintenance man for a local shirt company.  He would often wear a complimentary tee shirt to work. Stupid Bloody Tuesday is talking about two days after Bloody Sunday (as if you didn’t already know that).  As far as the face growing long, he is probably talking about the Umibi Tribe of East Cameroon, who put their heads into vices at age six in order to make them longer.  This apparently makes them more appealing.  Or he could be talking about growing a beard, but I doubt it.

Mister city policeman sitting pretty little policemen in a row.  In this line he talks about the morning inspection of the London policemen, or “bobbies” as they are known.  They would sit in row, looking pretty, for their morning inspection.

See how they fly like Lucy in the Sky see how they run.   This is no doubt referencing the same policemen flying in helicopters, followed by running, and lots of it.  Lucy in the Sky is cryptic for the word LITS, which means absolutely nothing.

Yellow matter custard dripping from a dead dog’s eye.  This is most likely a jab at the dessert served at his high school.  Why he feels the need to bring a dead dog into the story is beyond me.  And I have never felt the same way about custard after hearing this song.

Crobolocker fishwife pornographic priestess boy you been a naughty girl you let your knickers down.  A neighbor of John’s was named Mr. and Mrs. Crobolocker.  Mr. Crobolocker loved to fish on weekends.  His wife was into making dirty movies and was also quite religious.  Also, when Margaret Thatcher was younger, she was well-known for letting her knickers down.  Do I need to explain this further?  I didn’t think so.  It’s getting late and I still need to do my chores.

Expert texpert choking smokers don’t you think the joker laughs at you ha ha ha hee hee hee ho ho ho.  In England and some parts of Northern Ireland, tax consultants are known as “texperts.”  They are well-known to play cards.  He is talking about a joker in the deck, laughing at them as jokers will.  During these card games they would smoke cigars, hence the words “choking smokers.”  The ha ha ha hee hee ho ho ho is most likely a twisted reference to Santa Claus, or a jab at stuttering.

See how they smile like pigs in a sty see how they hide.   Have you ever seen a pig not smile?  I haven’t either.  I have also seen them hide, but not during tax season.

Semolina Pilchards climbing up the Eiffel Tower.  This line is completely self-explanatory.

Elementary Penguin singing Hare Krishna man you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe.  It is very clear that the elementary penguin references a nun.  When John was in Catholic School, his fourth grade teacher, Mother Sisters, became a Hare Krishna and turned in her resignation to Father Mucker.  The other nuns disliked the writings of Edgar Allen Poe, and would make life size dolls of him for the students to kick.  It became too much for her and she said she would work there nevermore.

I am the Egg Man.  This is most likely talking about the short order cook at the local diner.  His specialty was eggs.  Or he could be talking about a rooster.

They are the Egg Men.  Other short order cooks (or roosters).

I am the Walrus, Goo goo goo joob.  Perhaps the least understood Beatles lyric of all time, and with good reason.  Everyone knows that Ringo was the walrus, and John was the Otter.  George couldn’t swim.  And Paul was the cute one.  The goo goo goo joob is talking about when John was very young, his favorite candy was jujubees, which he called googoogoojoobs

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