Did I Ever Tell You About the Time I Went Out For the Football Team?

I came across this site of Jerry Seinfeld’s, where he drives around in various cars from his fleet, accompanied by other members of the one percent.  http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/

Buying fruit is a gamble, I know that going in.
Buying fruit is a gamble, I know that going in.

I wonder what it is like to have so many cars?  The paperwork must be unbelievable.  Where do you think he keeps all of his keys?  I can just imagine what it must be like at his house:

“Have you seen my keys?”
“Which ones, for the Lamborghini?”
“No, the Ferrari.”
“The Blue Ferrari?”
“No, the Black Ferrari.”
“The convertible?”
“No, the other one.”
“No, I haven’t seen them.  And be careful not to park in a handicapped spot.”

The other day I was thinking about the time I went out for the football team when I was a Freshman in High School.  After the first practice, I threw up on the fifty-yard line.  The coach asked me what I was doing, and our conversation went something like this:

“What do you think you are doing?”

“You said to leave it all out there.  I did just that.  I even left my lunch out there.”

“You are being too literal.  Perhaps you should consider the golf team.  It might be a better fit.”

I was talking with my neighbor the other day.  He was telling me that he never wears underwear.  I am not sure why he told me that.  When I asked him why, he said “Because rainy days and undies always get me down.”

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