So what’s the deal with this whole government shutdown? Does this mean we get our taxes back? Who do I talk to about that?
My neighbor was telling me about a friend of his who has a glass eye. He says he doesn’t mind, and it actually comes in handy sometimes. When he drinks too much he doesn’t see double.
Did you know that most of the automobiles being made these days have computers? The next time you can’t start your car, hit Ctrl-Alt-Delete. That should do it.
Speaking of computers, I have found the perfect solution if your computer gets a virus. When people get sick they go to bed. If your computer gets a virus, put it in sleep mode until it feels better.
Just this morning I was reading an article about the Hippocampus. Have you heard of it? I hadn’t either. I had no idea Hippos went to school. That explains why they are known as “The Smart Ones” in the jungle.
I have been practicing putting in my living room, I must admit, I am getting quite good. If they ever start making carpeted golf courses I will be the best golfer in the world.
Last week I bought an 8-pack of cushioned ankle socks (2 extra pairs!). The problem is, they are not what I thought they would be. They are ankle socks, with tiny cushions on the ankle. I was duped, man. I need more leg covering in a sock.
Did I ever tell you about my experiences in 6th Grade? The other kids used to beat me up, steal my lunch money, lock me in the lockers. What makes this an especially painful memory is the fact that I was home-schooled.