My Concert Performance was Unacceptable!


I played in a jazz show in December
After preparing for it since September
I thought I had everything ready
But when I got onstage I felt unsteady

I was feeling a bit tired, a little bit weird
I felt like I was wearing a fake beard
The lights were bright and I couldn’t see
I knew things were going to get bad for me

We started the song, and I was doing OK
Rhythm guitar is what I play
But then something happened, I put out a Bolo
And everything crashed when I attempted a solo

I played two measures in the key of G
When I was supposed to be playing in B
When the others were in the key of C
I hobbled along in the key of E

My Do’s were all supposed to be Ti’s
And all of my Ti’s came out as Mi’s
My So’s were Fa’s and my Fa’s were So’s
And some of my Re’s came out as Do’s

When I was supposed to be in A Minor I wasn’t
If you think that sounds good, it doesn’t
My sharps were flat and my flats were sharp
Maybe next time I’ll just play a harp

And now, a music lesson:  Everyone knows Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do, right?  But did you know what these notes are called if they are flatted (brought down a half-step, or basically a half-note). There are 12 notes in a Western Scale, but only 7 sounds. So here it is:  Do – Ra – Re – Me – Mi – Fa – Fi – So – Le – La – Te – Ti – Do.

And there you have it!

Oh, yeah, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!


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