Just Another Saturday

mouseI walked downstairs to get some food
I was in a particularly sour mood
My wife said “We have a situation”
And those words are never heard with elation

It happened in the morning, last Saturday
The same thing happened to us back in May
Me and the wife were sitting around the house
When one of our kitties brought in a mouse

“The cat has caught a little mouse
And brought it right into the house
She is sitting under this very chair
So pick her up and move her there”

So what did I do then, you ask?
Did I perform the suggested task?
Of course I didn’t because I panicked
And not only that, I became manic

I grabbed the chair without thinking first
Perhaps it was because of my insatiable thirst
And when I did that the mouse took off
And I could have sworn I heard a cough

He ran right under the refrigerator
Which has on its door a Florida Gator
I looked at the clock, and it said ten
And I wondered how this happened again

So I grabbed the refrigerator along its seals
After researching how to unlock refrigerator wheels
And then I moved it back towards me
And I tried to set the little guy free

I rotated the refrigerator and realigned it
After realizing that he was right behind it
I grabbed a broom and gently pushed him
I had to be careful not to smoosh him

And he ran towards my wife, who held a box
Whose lid had a picture of a clock
She pushed him in, and closed the lid
But that isn’t everything we did

We walked him over to the field
And along the way I’m sure┬áhe squeeled
We let him out and he ran away
It was just another Saturday

George The Hand Model

george-costanza-prancing-through-park

George is upset, that is apparent
He’s moving back in with both his parents
His dad is crazy and uses a walker
And Kramer’s girlfriend is a low talker

George and his parents go out to dinner
The waiter there is not a winner
He doesn’t even bring a menu
His mom suggests a different venue

George tells them he needs some air
And then he mutters that life isn’t fair
He wonders if things could get any worse
Then he bumps into a lady, who drops her purse

She says “Just look at what you’ve done!
And I was having so much fun
But in all my years around these lands
I never have seen such amazing hands”

After that George goes to Central Park
Where people run and doggies bark
But He can’t find a pair of gloves that fit
So he chooses a pair of oven mits

He then gets paid to model his hands
And it doesn’t matter where he stands
But the day that Kramer blew into town
The whole thing just came crashing down

Because Kramer ruins everything
And George’s right hand still does sting
From that fateful day that his life turned
And his modeling hand was severely burned