Ice Ice Baby

Hello Everyone. I wanted to share a recent plumbing experience I had with you.  No, I didn’t have a plumbing experience with you (we both would have remembered that, wouldn’t we?) Let me re-phrase that.  I want to share, with you, a plumbing experience I recently had.

My shower drain was plugged up, so I did what everyone does.  I poured boiling water down the drain.  That usually does the trick.  But 24 hours later it still wouldn’t drain, even after the whole coat hanger down the drain trick!  In a burst of inspiration, I decided to open and close the drain.  When I did that, I loosened whatever had been almost obliterated by the above-mentioned scalding H2O.  I am pleased to report that I am no longer ankle-deep in water after my mandatory daily shower.

With that, I am releasing my latest rap one week ahead of it’s ITunes Debut, Number 2 last week on the Billboard Top 100.

Hello Players
My Name’s Ice-John
I like to sleep
And I sometimes yawn

My shirt’s too tight
and my pants too long
And it’s been 37 years
Since I’ve Played Ping Pong

Sometimes I’ll Laugh
Sometimes I’ll Cry
Sometimes I’ll eat
Half a Pizza Pie

I don’t eat meat
Cause I love all life
I have big feet
You can ask my wife

I’m younger than the Pope
But older than Matt Damon
I was born the same year
As Everyone Loves Raymond

So now I’ll split
And I’ll end this rap
It’s a sure-fire hit
But it’s time to nap

Gilbert and Sullivan

GILBERT AND SULLIVANGilbert and Sullivan refers to the Victorian-era theatrical partnership of the librettist W. S. Gilbert (1836–1911) and the composer Arthur Sullivan (1842–1900) and to the works they jointly created. The two men collaborated on fourteen comic operas between 1871 and 1896, of which H.M.S. Pinafore, The Pirates of Penzance and The Mikado are among the best known.[1]

Gilbert, who wrote the words, created fanciful “topsy-turvy” worlds for these operas where each absurdity is taken to its logical conclusion—fairies rub elbows with British lords, flirting is a capital offence, gondoliers ascend to the monarchy, and pirates turn out to be noblemen who have gone wrong.[2] Sullivan, six years Gilbert’s junior, composed the music, contributing memorable melodies[3] that could convey both humour and pathos.[4]

Their operas have enjoyed broad and enduring international success and are still performed frequently throughout the English-speaking world.[5][6] Gilbert and Sullivan introduced innovations in content and form that directly influenced the development of musical theatre through the 20th century.[7] The operas have also influenced political discourse, literature, film and television and have been widely parodied and pastiched by humourists. Producer Richard D’Oyly Carte brought Gilbert and Sullivan together and nurtured their collaboration.[8] He built the Savoy Theatre in 1881 to present their joint works (which came to be known as the Savoy Operas) and founded the D’Oyly Carte Opera Company, which performed and promoted Gilbert and Sullivan’s works for over a century.

They bear a striking resemblance to Gilbert Godfrey and Ed Sullivan, don’t you think?

Please Mr. Custard

Image

  • Did you ever hear the story about the three-legged dog who limped into Dodge City looking for the man who shot his paw?  Many of you have already heard that joke, but I feel that it is strong enough, comically speaking, to repeat.
  • Our local radio station only plays music that was recorded between 1950 and 1969.  Just the other day I heard a song from my youth that I wasn’t even sure was a song.  (I actually thought he was saying Mr. Custard).  Wikipedia says the following:  “Mr. Custer” is a novelty song, sung by Larry Verne, and written by Al DeLory, Fred Darian, and Joseph Van Winkle. It was a number-one song in the United States in 1960, topping the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart for the issue dated October 10, 1960, and remained there for one week. It is a comical song about a soldier’s plea to Custer before the climactic Battle of the Little Bighorn against the Sioux, which he did not want to fight.[1]  “Mr. Custer” was also a No. 12 hit in the UK for Charlie Drake in 1962. So that means I was a very small person when this song came out.  How about you?  Do you remember when this song came out?  Check it out at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0nHWAoIfxo
  • As for me, I have been quite busy with school.  I am learning all about music theory and composition.  If you ever decide to go into that field, I have one piece of advice:  Buy a large box of erasers.  You will need them.  If you are composing a piece of classical music in a minor key, and happen to move from a V chord to a VI chord (a move known as a “Deceptive Cadence”) you must be sure to not double the root.  You always double the third, otherwise you will end up with an augmented second interval, which apparently is not a good thing. Why does this only happen between the V and VI chords?  It happens because that is the only place in a minor scale where two major triads are found a half-step apart.  But you probably already knew that.

Free Cut-Out Missile Toe

ImageI have provided a free cut-out missile toe for my many readers.  Just print, cut out, and hang over your doorway at your Christmas Party. After that, wait for that special someone and plant a kiss right on their forehead.