Classical Composers Whom I Have Admired

ludwig2Classical Composers Whom I Have Admired

Ludwig’s music is incredible
And Wolfgang’s never missed
Franz’s music is almost edible
Both of them, Schubert and Lizst

Peter Ilyad’s music is capricious
And hardly ever arbitrary
Johan Sebastian still can reach us
Just ask my cousin Larry

To tell the truth, I have three cousins
But not one is named Larry
They spend the summer in the Hamptons
And get to work by ferry

Somehow I’ve gotten a bit off track
I do that from time to time
But eventually I find my way back
And continue with my rhyme

Now I remember of what I spoke
I was talking about classical composers
I love them all, and that’s no joke
As long as they’re not a poser

Sometimes Ludwig is just too much
And Brahms gets hard to Handl
Felix Mendelssohn has just the touch
He’s great at night by candle

Hector Berlioz was very peppy
And so was Antonio Vivaldi
Verdi’s first name was Giuseppe
And Rachmaninoff was a baldy

But now I’m afraid I have to leave
It’s almost time for class
But I’ll be back, you best believe
And give this another pass

 

The Bathtub

Happy New Year to Everyone.  I hope it is the best year ever.  Yada Yada Yada.

The Bathtub

On January First of this year
My bathtub was a mess I fear
It had a different kind of reak
That lingered there for that whole week

I made a mental note to clean it
And at the time I sure did mean it
But for a reason that’s unseen
My dirty bathtub stayed unclean

It stayed like that until the Spring
That time of year when birds all sing
Its dirty state went on and on
While I just shopped on Amazon

I’d had enough of it by June
But got distracted by the Moon
And then I watched Star Trek with Sulu
They have all episodes now on Hulu

Each day when I would take my shower
I smelled the mold’s increasing power
And afterwards, when I was dry
I stared at it and wondered why

The tiles both within and out
Had moldy streaks along their grout
The tub itself had lost its shine
I could not believe it was mine

So why did I have a tub that reaks?
And had being doing so for eighty weeks?
The whole thing started making me crazy
Until I realized I was being lazy

And finally, in late December
On a day which I will always remember
I took a scraper to its walls
Because sometimes in life, duty calls

I spent the day cleaning that tub
I listened to Aqualung as I did scrub
I streamed it online, as I remember
Because I’m an Amazon Prime Member

When I was finished I felt a power
And the next day I used a different shower
So why is that? I’ll tell you why
It’s because the caulking wasn’t dry

But now it is and I’m all set
And after I shower, when the tub is wet
I dry it off, from head to hiney
So it will always be clean and shiny

I Am Speechless!

  • I have been so stunned by the recent shift in the political landscape that I completely forgot to post anything here.  I know my readers have been wondering what is going on.  How can I put it?  I am speechless.  I am without speech!
  • I was reading that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie was asked what he would do if he was kicked out of the new administration’s transition team. He said he would close that bridge when he came to it.
  • I have an upcoming test on bird identification.  I haven’t had time to study so I think I will just have to wing it.

    turkey
    Happy Thanksgiving!  Please join me in celebrating life by not eating our feathered friends.

 

 

 

Where is That Episode of Chicago PD?

Like I said up there.  Where is the episode of Chicago PD that I was counting on?  It is Thursday, right?  That means that all of Wednesday night’s TV shows should be online.  But there is no Chicago PD, nor is there a Criminal Minds OR Empire.  Like, what gives?

Has the very fabric of society been torn in half?  It just doesn’t feel right.  What am I supposed to do now, read a book?  It took me 5 months to read the last one!  And it never left my bathroom.

I guess I will try to do something creative on my own.  I know, I will compose some rap for y’all.

microphoneRhyming and Miming
by J-Ice, Ph.D.R (Doctor of Rhyme)

I rhyme all the time
I rhyme in my bed
I got nothing but rhymes
And it hurts my head

When the clock strikes two
I begin my rhyming
And that’s all I do
Until it’s time for miming

When the clock strikes seven
I begin my mime
And I go till eleven
Then it’s back to rhyme

And I stare at the walls
And I walk on the floors
As I roam the halls
And I lock the doors

And I start to rhyming
And the words do flow
I have magnificent timing
From my head to toe

So now you try it
You too can be bold
Maybe the public will buy it
If you’re not too old

Thank you ladies and gentlemen and good night!

Today I Realized I am a Rap Master

I just finished watching the first episode of the new Netflix Series “The Get Down” at https://www.netflix.com/title/80025601.  It is a story about the beginnings of hip-hop in New York in 1977.

It wasn’t quite as good as Empire on Fox TV.  Hakim is one of the characters on the show, played by an amazing rapper named Yazz, or Yazz The Greatest.  My extensive rap experience tells me that he is going to be huge.  He already has over a million Twitter followers, so I guess he already is huge.

It got me to thinking.  How would I react if given the microphone at one of these so called “Hip Hop” events?  Would I have the right stuff?  Would I be able to berate my rap-opponent at a level sufficient to keep the crowd from beating me to a pulp?

I can almost picture it.  The crowd parts as I make my way to the Rapping Area.  I take the mike, and begin my rap, all the while staring at my opponent with steely nerve.

The clothes you wear
Are from a Sci-Fi Show
And you grow body hair
Where it shouldn’t grow

I’ve seen better faces
on boxes of soap
Your teeth need constant flossing
And you have to use rope

You are bumpy where you shouldn’t be
And wrinkly where you should
You show people what they shouldn’t see
And that ain’t never good

You have the heartbreak of psoriasis
From your toe to your head
On Tuesdays you have dialysis
And then go back to bed

When your mama looks at you
She feels like fainting
Your high school photo
Was a Picasso Painting

Ice Ice Baby

Hello Everyone. I wanted to share a recent plumbing experience I had with you.  No, I didn’t have a plumbing experience with you (we both would have remembered that, wouldn’t we?) Let me re-phrase that.  I want to share, with you, a plumbing experience I recently had.

My shower drain was plugged up, so I did what everyone does.  I poured boiling water down the drain.  That usually does the trick.  But 24 hours later it still wouldn’t drain, even after the whole coat hanger down the drain trick!  In a burst of inspiration, I decided to open and close the drain.  When I did that, I loosened whatever had been almost obliterated by the above-mentioned scalding H2O.  I am pleased to report that I am no longer ankle-deep in water after my mandatory daily shower.

With that, I am releasing my latest rap one week ahead of it’s ITunes Debut, Number 2 last week on the Billboard Top 100.

Hello Players
My Name’s Ice-John
I like to sleep
And I sometimes yawn

My shirt’s too tight
and my pants too long
And it’s been 37 years
Since I’ve Played Ping Pong

Sometimes I’ll Laugh
Sometimes I’ll Cry
Sometimes I’ll eat
Half a Pizza Pie

I don’t eat meat
Cause I love all life
I have big feet
You can ask my wife

I’m younger than the Pope
But older than Matt Damon
I was born the same year
As Everyone Loves Raymond

So now I’ll split
And I’ll end this rap
It’s a sure-fire hit
But it’s time to nap

Porky Pig Was Very Wise

  • The Good Book tells us to love our neighbor.  Whoever wrote that obviously didn’t live in my neighborhood.  Do you have the same problem?  If we were Azande (South America) or Nuer (North and South Sudan) we could settle our differences with a good clubbing.  I imagine those cultures have very few instances of high blood pressure.  (I don’t plan on clubbing anyone, just to be clear….)
  • It is just about time for me to get a haircut.  I don’t like barbershops, however.  I don’t approve of barbarism.  But you already knew that, since you know my stance on clubbing.
  • Our local police force is so broke that whenever a crime is committed they have to call an Uber to investigate.
  • Finally, in the words of Porky Pig……..

 

 

What is the First Thing a Shoe Shine Person Says in the Morning?

Rise and Shine!

Do you want to hear something ironic?  Internet Explorer keeps sending me pop-ups that say “Internet Explorer Just Blocked a Pop-Up.”  That’s great, Internet Explorer!  But aren’t you kind of defeating the purpose here?

I was watching “The Haunting Hour” on Netflix earlier tonight.  There was an episode that had someone who was the “Master of the Insects.”  He used his power for evil and was in the end smothered by cockroaches.  Kind of like my bachelor party.  I learned that there are quite a few insects in the world.  At any time, it is estimated that there are some 10 quintillion (10,000,000,000,000,000,000) individual insects alive.  Divide that number by 7 billion and you get around 1.4 billion insects PER PERSON in the world!  How am I supposed to sleep now?  For more insect info check out:
http://www.si.edu/encyclopedia_si/nmnh/buginfo/bugnos.htm

Next week’s topic:  Amphibians

And finally:

Take a ride on the Coal Train.  John Coltrane that is.  This is a link to a video that shows every note John Coltrane plays on the song Giant Steps, as he is playing them!  It is fascinating.  If you like that sort of thing.