William Shatner is flying on a jet
And he is out of work
It’s stormy out and it’s quite wet
But he’s not Captain Kirk

He’s travelling with his trophy wife
Who tells him not to smoke
She’s known him almost all his life
And thinks he’s a splendid bloke

But soon after the plane departs
And there’s nowhere for him to hide
The chaos and the mayhem starts
When William looks outside

He says “There’s a Gremlin on the wing
And he’s pulling on the wires!”
The attendant says “It’s probably nothing.
Maybe you’re just too tired.”

“You’re right” he says while smiling
“I probably need some sleep
My behavior has become beguiling
Frow now on not a peep”

His wife then gives him a sleeping pill
And tells him to close his eyes
Pretty soon we will be in Jacksonville
As fast as this plane flies

She calms him with a gentle touch
As the passengers get nervous
One man who has had too much
Says loudly “I Need Service!”

Then William starts to twitch and panic
And needs to be restrained
His behaviour becomes almost manic
Some might even say insane

He grabs a gun from a sleeping cop
Who onced lived near the Kremlin
And then we hear a very loud pop
As he shoots wildly at the Gremlin

And when the plane limps back to ground
And to the hospital William is headed
Not one passenger makes a sound
Because the plane is completely shredded